That being said, before I go on, I have to point out that I believe this "ghost" is but a subconscious manifestation of what I've lost, and what I, at times, desire, but will never obtain.
Shortly after Vanstai's death, I started going on medication due to my behavior and mood at the time. If I can recall correctly, I was on Symbyax. My grades were going down drastically, I was gaining weight, and I was having random bouts of anger. I was also sleeping way more than the usual, around 10-11 hours a day. I'd come home from school, sleep a few hours, wake up, do homework (or browse the web), and then sleep again. At some point, I started having vivid dreams. At first they were nothing to write about, the typical "I'm flying!" or "I'm losing my teeth!" dreams, but for the most part, they weren't too special.
Until, one night, I dreamt of a thin, pale-skinned, red headed girl.
Those who've seen me online are often to have seen the image below:
For some strange reason, I started dreaming of her often. Someone I've never met, thought of, or seen online, at least, not to my knowledge. I found this picture on Google a few years back, when I typed in her features. I don't remember the source, and any time I try to search for the source of the image, I'm left without luck. Even uploading the image itself on Google Images yields 0 results.
The first dream I had of her was when I was either 14 or 15. It started out with a dream of me flying outside an old looking medieval castle. It was night time, a full moon illuminated the lush forest with twilight. The castle was built on a hill, and a lake seemed to originate from the bottom of the castle.
I looked inside a window, and saw the girl above, in a white gown, sleeping. Suddenly, water came from the shut door. She got up, and opened the door. The entire floor of the castle was flooded, but in an unrealistic fashion. The water was clear, constantly flowing, and was around two inches deep, the only ripples came from the girl's feet. The water was smooth.
I then entered the window, I was like a ghost. I could go through walls, it seemed. She didn't seem to notice me.
She went forward, beyond the door there was a spiral of stairs, that went downward, and upward. There didn't seem to be a ceiling, as when she looked up, the moon was peering in. The walls were like a waterfall, beneath the clear, smooth water there were stone bricks, again, of medieval fashion. Below her, she noticed the bottom of the castle was beginning to flood. She let out a sigh, and started to go up the staircase, which spiraled upwards. The girl went up the steps, ignoring the water that was trickling down them like a flowing river. I followed.
When we reached the top, I was in awe of the beauty of the forest. A vast lake below us, surrounded by trees, large hills, and a twilight moon. It was silent, with only a hint of the wind brushing against us.
She moved around the roof of the castle, looking for the source of the flooding.
She eventually came upon a medium-sized rectangle on the surface of the roof. It was the source of the flooding, as water seemed to be spouting from it. Other than the water coming from the orifice, it seemed dark, and empty.
The girl, for some reason, decided to get in. I followed.
Defying the laws of gravity, we fell through the water, as if something was pulling us. Strangely, the water vanished. We fell, I remember looking upwards, only to see the light slowly dimming as we fell further away from the ceiling.
We eventually fell in a large collection of water, and it was dark. I could suddenly fly again, but the girl was struggling in the water. There was a large "Ca-Chunk", and a door opened, revealing the lake I'd seen before. She swam towards it, and once she exited the dark room, the door closed. When we looked behind, we saw how massive the castle really was. She swam away from the castle, rather than towards it. She swam for a while, until she reached a sandy beach on the other side of the castle. She looked back, as the castle began to be consumed by fog. She let out a sight, and moved towards the forest.
We came upon a very narrow, modern road, it seemed to have been freshly paved. Street lamps illuminated the way, but strangely, as she passed them, they'd dim.
The girl, who I decided to nickname "Drem", eventually took a turn where the road ended. A vast sea of green grass was before her, and to the horizon, a massive mountain, the moon, peering over it.
Drem fell on her knees, and wept. I stayed stationary, and watched. The world around her was becoming darker, until only the sound of the grass brushing against her remained.
I woke up drenched in sweat.
This wasn't the last time I'd see Drem. I will write about her again, on a future date.
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